Do not Laugh....Am Just Saying

DON’T LAUGH…. AM JUST SAYING……….Now it is rare that I care about what surrounds me, but today I think it was a different situation all together. First I encounter one of these girls uprooted from the village and retaining all the norms that are a thing of comedy of late. As she dismounted a taxi, she had the courtesy of saying ‘Neyanzzizza ssebo’  Meaning Thank You sir and the man laughed so heartily….that all the people in the taxi got into a frenzy of argument and laughter.
A few minutes later, we stop and a passenger spots us. Now this guy races to the taxi, like a fast entrance could be able to enable him reach faster to his destination.  How interesting, because we sat for a painful five more minutes, and I couldn’t help the devilishly cute smile that creased my face.

 

Now the other scenario arose from this campaser, like they like to be called, coz the name is still fresh to them and it quite means a lot.   Now everyone has their idea of swag. This guy, what he lacked in money and style he made up for in an endowment in the lower region… how did he manifest this???? His walk/ gait and swagger was characterised by aside to side sway that showed off or rather pronounced his one endowment. The waist was to be edged forward slightly, and at first glance you would think that he is sick, but it was his swag….There  is this new excitement that is surrounding reporting to campus, especially in MUBS. Ok,personally I think that the Girls are younger, but the boys are much older…. Maybe this female emancipation thing has led to boys being left out. The Boys seem bigger in size. I think they started school late after their parents questioning the relevance of sending them to school after seeing the many ‘Bbanyuuwi b’enjagga’ loosely translated as drinkers of weed/drugs. Had I been a parent, I would have done the same………….

Then when I got back to work, one of the people I work with was at the verge of buying a car…it was a yellow starlet…can you believe?? Now it is bad enough that he is buying a starlet. But the colour yellow????? Really??? You know, one of the females I got to know on Facebook looked good in pictures. But upon meeting her, she had a behind like that of a Vitz….now a starlet’s behind was Flatter than that!!!!! Pardon me if you drive either of the cars, but I guess we are entitled to our different opinions…. And you know the colour yellow on a guy is Kind of Gay……right? Am glad you agree.I was just saying…………………. Dont Kill Me I am already dead... and with love Like Cupid.......

MUBS STRATEGY....

Welcome to MUBS pals. This is a place many of you have dreamed of for your lives, and as you have noticed, the rumour about it being hideously expensive is true. So true that most of you wish that you were in MUK….dining in Katanga, and wining in Wandegeya, with desert in Kikonyi. Sorry you are here now.

On the brighter side though, there is a place in MUBS too that could cover all your appetite needs without having to injure your pocket so bad……I will tell you all the details that there are to know about this place.

This is an article about a place; it examines the demographic, geographic, and moral implications of this place. There are certain facts that are definitive about certain places, and they have been like that for quite a while. This place fails to only defy one odd…which actually is a stereotypical assertion, that of the men having the ability to consume more food than the women. I will begin with the fact that this place is owned by a lady who has apparently been to Mecca, and so she becomes a Hajjat. And from her name was born the Taxonomy or name of this place. It is now known as Hajjat’s.

As you have guessed, it indeed is an eating place. And yes, rice too is served in this place. Well, contrary to the ownership, this place harbours more males than females, and they are usually the hungry kind, correction, those dedicated to the calling of food consumption. I am a lean male being, and my rate of food consumption can arguably be compared to that of a thirteen year old girl, although I am seven years older, or thereabout.

Now, what are the facts??

·        The food served can be too heavy for a man my size to carry……True

·        Water is given as an after sales and before sales service….True

·        Payment is at the counter after consumption and discounts are allowed, including eating on credit for those who are  loyal enough………….True

·        It is for a particular class of students……False. It’s for all, poor, rich, diving, walking……allllllllll…..except some females…..

·        This place is as hot as an oven in the seasons of the sun……Arguable… coz the food too emits its heat on the eater……..

My Experience:

Now my first encounter and intercourse with this place was on a hot Thursdays afternoon, after a heated academic discussion with few females who contributed hardly. It was thus kind to say that I was indeed hungry, and angry.  Now, the person that too me thee…. Name withheld, was one accustomed to the habits of the place and as I had previously mentioned, I find really bizarre.

Like a weevil, he dug into the food resolutely, and steadily nibbled his way to a spotless plate.

Me on the other hand, after a couple of fork fulls, I was too satisfied, and yet food  was too much on my plate, and it mocked me for my inability to finish it…..the same was done to me by my friend….

The kind of talk that characterises this place ranges from politics to religion, soccer, etc etc etc

WHAT KEPT ME GOING TO THIS PLACE??

Now this is mathematical, so be keen.

Ordinarily, I would spend 6000 to 7000 on food for a day, and about 2000 on water to drink, and 500 on PK(dudes, your breath matters.) if you did the math, you would realise that in a week of 7 days, I would use about 65500shillings just to nourish needs to keep me alive. What do you think would be left for happening and girls then????? NOTHING!!!!! DAMN!!!

Now with the discovery of Hajjat, look at my new expenditure…..food a day was 2500, and water was free…PK was constant.. So for 5 days I would spend 15,000shillings!!!Unbelievable…. food was 2500 only coz all I needed from Hajjat was ONE MEAL FOR TWO TO THREE DAYS, AND I STILL FELT SATSIFIED!!!!!!! That left me with about 50,000 at my disposal…. I DON’T EXPECT YOU TO ASK HOW I GET THE MANY GIRLS YET MUBS HAS MONEY ATTRACTING FEMALES.

So when my MUK buddies envy me, I smile, and tell them tales of how much game I possess. The truth is a little secret that I am not willing to share.

WELCOME TO MUBS BOYS……YOU CAN CALL ME FOR MORE TIPS. THIS TIME I WILL GIVE YOU LEGIT ONES………..