WHO SAID CHURCH GIRLS AIN'T NO FUN?????

WHO SAID CHURCH GIRLS AIN'T NO FUN??

Who said saved girls were no fun?? Well, maybe you will not meet them in clubs often, but these baes can sure wine what their mammas gave them.  You know how they play partition by Beyoncé in a club and all the girls are frantic, scream and run to dance as though they personally knew the beautiful sister to Solange Knowles, jay-z’s elevator assailant? Well, you should go to one of their churches on a good Sunday.

It’s a chilly Monday morning and I started off this day in a taxi with a lady giving out brochures for a fellowshipping thing that will be at theatre labonita on Thursdays starting sometime next month. A remainder of how my weekend had been.

One , Two ,Three, go

So, I am sitting on a white plastic chair, white tent over me, wind creeping in and out, and the sound of vehicles moving on the nearby road being no deterrent to the pastor. He goes on and on about the saving power of providence, God having plans for all, repenting, and fighting the devil inside us… things I agree to be true. Well, just when I thought it would not get any better than this, the church DJ or should I say music chairman throws in a personal favourite. Michelle William and Beyoncé’s famous ‘say yes’ this jam is not just a club banger, but a ‘church banger’ too.

You should have seen the reaction of the church girls. They screamed, jumped up, dropped their bibles on the seats,  rushed to the stage like to say ‘watch and see what we are capable of’ The stampede beat that of a heard of buffalos being pursued by lions.

It all belongs to you...

They shake to the electric intro bit, and the leader takes to miming....’when Jesus say yes, nobody can say no….’ and I don’t know if this is practiced, but the dancing is a hybrid of Nigerian music videos, American, and Ugandan. When Beyoncé starts the part of ‘ it all belongs to you…’ in the song, these baes point to their heads, then back to the crowd, then to the trunk, and the abdominal area, then on to the lover waist. They do that  skelewu like dance thing the hand work, footwork, structure coordination, huhhhh, and crown it with Mr Flavour’s trademark wine, then drop low, as they rise, each runs two fingers through their eyes, like saying, ‘ yes we see you’ My eyes wide open, jaws hang agape, delight writ all over mine eyes…

I did not have to wait for the bend over, it was inevitable. A little less shaky and less bendy… but as we all know, cut off a dogs tail, and he is no less a dog. A bend over is a bend over. Theirs was the acoustic version. Less poignant. But I assure you it was spell binding.

Beat that....

The girls sang in parts, word for word. Unlike these ‘our’ girls who don’t know their lyrics, these ones know their trade. Through the performance, the pastor watched intently, as if meditating each move, head shaking to all twists and turns. This was fundamental support. He enjoyed the show. The crowd too had fun. Everyone was up clapping and jumping and dancing and I must say I almost felt out of place, but after I had forced my stiff structure up and tried all my hideous moves, and no one was judging, it was a field day for me. Come on, I couldn’t have been the worst in the congregation.

The kid next to me left his mother’s side, did a little Lingala ankle clapping, an awilo jumbo... then a ‘back summer’... now this was art.

The whole crowd should get jiggy.... there is no tomorrow.

And as you all guessed, this is how the service ended. and don’t worry, the song was played a second time and the ushers got their baskets and moved around. You would be ashamed not to contribute the offertory. As the saying goes, a service is not a service without the offertory...the announcing guy kept saying ‘offertory time’ ‘offertory time’……

Come on Pastor, when Jesus says yes, Nobody can say no....